Sabbath Edition

Posted: 08/08/2012 in Uncategorized

”Suarez is a racist!! He have call Evra a black monkey” ”i am undecided about Borini” ”madem wote hapa i love u xo much” ”please guys lets post lfc related stuff or we lose some of the fans” ”Y cnt epl start already?hehe!cnt wait 4 suarez,gerad and borini combination and 4get abt ths dempsey guy.”

Just to highlight a few happenings in the family that Facebook wishes to call a group, in El-torros bulletin Sunday sabbath edition, we would like to mention that our christian counterparts are converging at the mavuno church downtown from 10.30am today.
”Maybe to help those who feel not ok with some updates..we started this group 2yrs ago and we have grown up to date.many of us have transformed ua koplove to families,brotherhood and even to bizna patners.when u see them do what they do ask why theyre doing it b4 judging.and when its not in order i bet you have seen us admin’s take action.join the end and ynwa.” Said Hon John Jeyz Irungu; one of the wisest men in the group this is rumoured to have been prompted as a response to one Raymond Okampohdeh Jr. who had not been impressed by the sideshows that occur in the group obviously unknown to him that this is what has made the group such a close knit garment, some members have actually gone on record and actually confessed that LSCK provides closure for them. Mr Okampodeh threatened to walk away from the group prompting radical, violent members with actual criminal records such as Tush Ole Muyah of the Njuri Njeke sect threatening to put an end to his life if he keeps on remonstrating by telling the members to keep it strictly Lfc… He should have known better. Bettie B Jey intervened by releasing the following statement ”To the LFCK family :”No family is perfect. U will argue, fight, stop talking to each other at times,loose some but in the end, family is family. The love will always be there.”

On matters concerning Mr.Ole Muyah, it was revealed by Alcoolita Cooper that his strawberry mint; Carol KWLN Nyeri was spotted making advances towards little known Emmanuel Harroh, this left the panga wielding Muyah huffing and puffing threatening to blow somebody’s house down as had happened to his house while he was away grazing on his ‘ruminant-scapades’ somewhere in westlands, it took the efforts of Bright Nunoo the ghenyan(ghanain-kenyan) who distracted Muyah by challenging him to a ‘last man standing’ duel… Tush lost by the way.

The row on racism involving Suarez once again reared its ugly head when one Elzhar Swalex Ali controversially went ahead and revealed that he believed that the Uruguayan tallisman was racist prompting scathing attacks; some abusive, from a few kopites, one enraged kopite, a talented lyricist, producer and freestyler better known by his stage name; K(2365792/50336) clearly not amused by the accusation which had caused a great rift in the group a few months back, had the following to say, ‘life is really a bitch,pple will always talk about da
‘negative’ side of you n 4get al da positives u’v brot…jst hw many goals and assists has suarez brot to us?its sad to see a livpul fan joining da outsiders in caln suarez a racist…well,fergie n mancs do dt kz they knw wat lpool holds in future wd suarez in da squad,dts y they try to unsettle hs mind ndo aende…nw if ur a livpul fan n u buy dt bllsht or even wrse u kam to ryt hia in da nem of ‘dts my opinion’,shws hw ur stupidity is rily horny’ (we beg your pardon concerning the kind of English used)

The premier league fever seems to haved gripped LSCK just as reports of its sex-hungry sect; the LSCKWA quitened down after we exposed their underground dealings. One suspected member and world renown rumour monger and former fish seller Kelvin Suarez Oyugi could not hide his anxiety and declared that the premier league should start immediately, oblivious to the fact that he is in no way affiliated, let alone a top official in the English FA. ”Y cnt epl start already?hehe!cnt wait 4 suarez,gerad and borini combination and 4get abt ths dempsey guy.” these were Mr.Oyugi’s exact words, the above statement prompted criticism from rumour guru Xavier Lutta who has been openly critical of Mr. Oyugi’s methods. Prof.Lutta mocked Oyugi who doubted the rumoured imminent arrival of Clint Dempsey by saying  hehe.nakuambia ile day atasign hutakaa na amani.utanihate vile ndakusumbua’ an occurence that should it go either way one of these rumourers reputation is sure to suffer a devastating blow. A profusely sweating Oyugi was spotted in san burners by the time we went to press.

With Reuben Kingori undecided about Borini, Hon John Jeyz Irungu not knowing how to use his phone accidentally losing all his numbers on his cell phone and in the process providing a platform for his namesake John Nyakwar Odande to showcase his newly acquired skills, prowess and fluency in the english language, Mjei going back to his favourite mtaro, Lyatuu going to work in a mask due to the fear of contracting Ebola, John Njeiitii admiring other clubs financial muscle , Sam ‘Father Abraham’ wanjere giving facts and advice, Sophia marveling at Koren defenders and finally Carol kings making a return id like to wish y’all a delightful Sunday.

Represent us well at Mavuno church n make sure u have fun.


Represent us well they did. YNWA


El-torros Bulletin
Sabbath Edition

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