Matters of the heart… The Dalglishes

Posted: 31/07/2012 in Uncategorized

The Kenny Dalglish official website has moved to dis-spell rumours that Laylow Dalglish had handed in a transfer request, King Kenny also hit back at critics that he was about to be sacked from the job of being laylow’s heart bearer.sources( Lyatuu Cornel Andrew) had given the following indication; ‘u And The Monday story continues with Laylow Dalglish handing in a transfer request…seems she is yet to agree personal terms with either Preston or Victor meanwhile Kenny Dalglish insists she is not going anywhere unless the bidders are ready to break the bank- ki Man City style.lolxx’
Kenny dalglish sought to clarify issues by hitting back at his critics who thought he was finished and also issued a gagging order to Laylow who had appeared to have her head turned by the suitors by issuing the following statement “Sorry folks, show’s over… Im maa fuckn back!!! Y’all better keep it movin, this one’s long taken.

a smiling Laylow

@Laylow, your cameo’s over too, back to your full time job of being my Queen.”
This rendered members of the so called ‘wolf-pack'(LSCKWA) speechless and toothless as it was further revealed that they were ready to go to war with one Tush Ole Muyah openly admitting that they were members of the illegal njuri ncheke group, it is also rumoured that Mr. Ole muyah’s vehicle’s body; recently repaired and repainted was done so under duress sources indicating that the body shop owner repaired it at panga point but that’s a story for another day.
In other news, one Juelz Kop Diehard woke up to shock as the abode she humbly lives in turned into a lake resembling the once fledgling Nairobi dam lake forcing the hard working fast mouthed mind speaking kopite to engage all her resources in order to get rid of all this wetness.


Lake Juelz

‘U know that nightmare where ua house floods because u didnt close the tap, I AM FUCKING LIVING IT!’ said an angry Juelz as she scuba dived in hr house. This prompted a certain Yoseh Mbuyu to unnecessarily break into the following song without the slightest hint that it wasn’t the forum to show of his budding skills as an upcoming reggae musician
johnny sniff and sniff
forget about de spliff
said he felt good
just like a singer should
so he pass it to his friend
another fool agen

drug kulcha takin ova de place
yuh know dis is a damn disgrace
drug kulcha takin ova de place
youth your life is gonna go to waste’

till next time y’all
El Torros Bulletin

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